What would happen if we just said what was on our mind- with "pleases" and "thank yous" of course. Would we get what we want? Can we even consider that the other person is strong enough to rebut us, not just write us off? What if we give up our martyrdom? Will we not get some prize on our deathbed for eating at restaurants we didn't want to our whole lives? THERE IS NO PRIZE! Take a deep breath, ask lovingly, be open to dialogue. Not all dialogue is "confrontation"--it can simply be a conversation. Most likely….you'll get what you want. So simple. So healthy. Challenge yourself to a few more KISSes.